Friday, August 21, 2009

What is wrong with me...

As I said before...5 hours of sleep is usually good for me and that was the last time I slept. I haven't had a decent shut eye for a couple days now and yet I am still functioning like a normal human being.

Today was the first day of school and though there were some major setbacks of being the new student it was alright. My schedule was also messed up and will...just hope I can get it fixed before next week. After practice, I came home and finished my homework and study for my test tomorrow (yes that's what happens when you decide to take AP classes).

And now at 0330, I am not tired but sore from I don't know what and in major pain. Not a physical pain but an emotional one. Maybe it's the "date" coming closer and closer. Maybe it was the start of my senior year. Maybe it's everything but tonight, I'm in a bad mood. I'm sad that I can't get up off this couch to get a drink and back writing within seconds. I'm sad that I can't jump into my bed and truly sleep. Everything just seem so wrong...and I don't know how to fix it.

And the one man I can talk to about this is somewhere in the world, doing what he does best. I feel like a little boy again, wondering where Dad went and when he'll be back. I feel like a little kid again, sitting here crying silently so my Mom wouldn't hear me. I feel like a baby again, wishing someone to hold me forever and with a kiss, make the "bobo" go away.

I don't know why I am crying, but these tears flow like the Mississippi River and there ain't nothing that can stop it.

God what is wrong with me...


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