Week of December 12th, 2010

If you read my previous blog post Crazy Birthday Dinner, you'll know I ran into my ex at a friend's 21st birthday dinner.

Awk. ward.

Since then she has been calling me and contacting me all sorts of ways. She's finding excuses to talk to me, and using stuff like her motorcycle to try and buffer the awkwardness between the two of us.

So this week's Weekly Tunes is dedicated to her.
Yes, I just dedicated a song to my ex.
Horrible.

Week of December 5th, 2010

I can't believe I completely forgot about Weekly Tunes until now. No, I haven't been procrastinating, just completely forgot about it through my productive Sunday.

Don't got much in mind for this week's song but John Turner never steered me wrong.
Plus, his voice just screams country

Enjoy.
Josh Turner- South Carolina Old Country

Memory Visit

Dad, Sarah, and I spend the weekend in Oklahoma. Yesterday was Dad's birthday and he planned something for the entire family to enjoy.

We left Grandparents' house early on Friday morning and drove to Stillwater, Oklahoma, where Mom spend her undergrad years there. After eating lunch at Red Lobster, Dad took me around town. We took what he called a "memory visit" and went around the places that Mom loved, that Dad and Mom went and enjoyed the nice weather in Stillwater.

We ate Dinner at one of Mom's favorite place, Eskimo Joe's and walked around downtown Stillwater. Dad told me things about Mom that I never knew before. He told me about Mom's college days, he told me about Mom's love for OSU football and her love for her major and the people around her. Dad even told me how he and Mom met. About their first date and their first OSU football game.

We spend rest of the night and morning in our hotel room. (Which I must say that I am extremely impressed with Best Western. Our room was accessible, had a roll-in shower, lowered vanity areas and toilet. It doesn't get anymore accessible than this) Dad slept for most of the time, I think he just needed to catch up on his sleep from all the missions and the miles we covered within these few days.

Yesterday we ate small breakfast in the hotel and spend time in the pool area. I think Sarah loves the water as much as Mom does. We dropped off Sarah at one of Dad's friend's house and drove to Boone Pickens Stadium, where we met a few of Mom and Dad's friends for a tailgate party. Yesterday was the big game, OSU vs. Oklahoma and trust me, the tailgate party doesn't get any better than that.

We had a great time. Mom's friends talked about Mom as if she was their own sister. We ate, drink, and celebrated life. We celebrated the game and at the same time, celebrate Dad's birthday and the memory of Mom.

We didn't get back to our room until late. I helped Dad get a new plan with Verizon and canceled the phone plan he had with Mom. I think even though Dad seems excited about his new Blackberry Bold 9650, he was sad and hesitant of taking this step. The step of canceling something that Mom had. I think we were both hesitant but it's just another step in our lives. And we're taking it very slowly.

We drove home early this morning then got a bunch of baby proof items to baby proof the house. Sarah's getting active, wanting to walk everywhere herself so I think it's that time we actually baby proof the house.

Truth be told, I haven't heard Dad talk this much in a long time.
It was a good weekend.

Happy Birthday Dad
and thank you, Mama.

Enjoy this week's Weekly Tunes:
Forever by John Michael Montgomery

We'll Be Alright

After attending an event for a psychology extra-credit, I stopped by a coffee shop and brought a small pastry. In ways it was my time away from Sarah so I thought it's nice to take a break and people watch for awhile.

As I was ordering my pastry, I saw a couple walked into the shop with a stroller. The couple looked like they recently graduated college, got married, and now are the parents of a 4-months old boy. As I sat next to them and listened to their conversation with their friends, I wondered if that was how Mom and Dad were. I wondered if that's what they did an a Sunday afternoon and I wondered if that's how they spend their casual dates and visit with their friends.

Behind me sat a family of three, parents and a daughter. As they laughed and talked about some game on their cellphone, I smiled. I thought of when I was young and about our family outings we'd take when Dad was home. As the parents converse with their daughter, I could hear my parents' voice. I could hear Mom's laugh and Dad's never ending challenge to beat the game. I could see myself laughing and smiling like there's no tomorrow.

I smiled as my mind wonders on, it was as if the clock was turned back for our family. It was as if everything was alright and cancer never entered our lives. It was as if our family is whole again.

Or maybe, we were never broken to began with. I'm not sure.

As I was about to leave the coffee shop, a Dad and a 3 year-old girl walked into the shop. Her words were unclear and at the same time adorable. Her gestures were out of this world. I thought about Dad and Sarah as I made my way to my car. And during the drive home, I thought about Mom, Dad, Sarah, and our family.

A voice from the depth of my heart spoke as I turned into the drive way. "Dad, Sarah, and I will be alright. Mom may not physically be here with us but she's here in spirit. Mom may not be living in the house with us but she lives in our hearts. There will be difficult and unbarring times. There will be bucket full of tears and sadness. And there definitely will be hate but I think...I think we'll be alright."

I am sure we'll be alright.
We'll have Mom and God's blessings every step of the way.

Right, Mama?

Enjoy this week's Weekly Tunes, everyone, and remember to NEVER take your family and loved ones for granted.

Week of November 14th, 2010

Due to a stupid decision of mine, I'm suffering through the pain with no way of making me feel better. I've been cussing, praying, and yes, even crying, that's how much pain I am in.

And somehow all the craziness reminded me of this song.
Listen:

Tim McGraw- I'm Only Jesus

Week of November 7th, 2010

Real apologies that I forgot to put this week's Weekly Tunes It's been a long week plus I caught the flu so guess I completely forgot it til now.

Anyways, I've been a fan of Zac Brown Band for a long time. And as soon as I heard this song, I was blown again. Another great song by the Zac Brown Band indeed.

Have a listen:
Zac Brown Band- Highway 20 Ride

Week of October 31st, 2010

Real quick...

Hope that everyone is having a good weekend and wish you guys a happy and safe Halloween! Remember to Trick-Or-Treat safely!

Not sure about you guys but personally can't believe tomorrow will be November. Is it just me or 2010 is going by really fast?!

This week's Weekly Tunes...it's one of those songs that I wondered how I have live this long without discovering it. Truly is good music, have a listen..

Dean Brody- Brothers

Week of October 24th, 2010

There are reasons why I faded away from using Pandora.com after I discovered Last.fm

There always tends to be a few times when you are listening to a certain station (say country) and they give you something completely random and not related (like metal). Usually I have a huge on my face and that tends to get me to leave Pandora.

But last night, Pandora introduced me to Lynyrd Skynyrd. According to Wikipedia, Lynyrd Skynyrd is "an American rock band, formed in Jacksonville, Florida in 1964. The band became prominent in the Southern United States in 1973, and rose to worldwide recognition."

Edit: I should said that I HAVE heard of Skynyrd and songs like Sweet Home Alabama Guess it's cuz I posted this early in the morning and threw out my enter music library out my brain...what I meant was I haven't heard THIS song before!

I'm not a huge fan of Rock music but hey, this song ain't too bad.
Have a listen.
Lynyrd Skynyrd- Gimme Three Steps

Week of October 17th, 2010

I just heard this song this morning by Craig Morgan. Couldn't stop laughing when I heard the lyrics, guess who it is about?

Yup, you guessed right, Brett Favre.

Have a listen:

Craig Morgan- Still a Little Chicken Left on That Bone

Also, if you have connection with the Rutger's football team, please forward this letter to both Coach Schiano and Eric LeGrand. If you haven't heard, LeGrand broke his neck during the Army game. From what I've heard, broken neck and probably will be like me. Being sick of people saying "I'm so sorry" and all that emo crap after I got hurt, I wrote a letter to both Coach Schiano, Eric, and Eric's family to hope tell 'em what Spinal Cord Injury is really like and to look up at the possibilities and not the disability.

Story here

Dear Coach Schiano,

My name is Matthew Knipe, I am a 19 years old currently living in Colorado with my family. My father is in the Army and I am sure by hearing that, you know who I was cheering for at the game yesterday. I sat in my living room, cheering for a team that I long loved since I was a child and now, I wish to pass on this message to both you and Eric LeGrand. As soon as I saw Eric went down, I knew of the possibilities.

You see, Coach Schiano, I have been in Eric's shoes. I grew up around football and loved the sport. I breathe and lived football and watched games like there is no other. My dream, to play high school and college football. When I was a freshman in high school, I never would have imagine that I would hear the last play of my life. I broke my neck on September 25th, 2006 and like Eric, I broke my neck (though my injury was lower, at C4-6). My parents were told that I would not be able to make it through the night.

Fast forward 4 years, here I am and doing well. I graduated high school and is currently attending college. Though I at times still miss football, getting hurt on the field that day changed my life. I have ever since grow more passion about the sport and cherish my life, every day. Looking back these four years, I have do more things than I ever will have I not gotten hurt. Spinal Cord Injury changed my life, for both good and bad, though majority good.

Please help me forward the letter below to Eric. I have been in his shoes and know what it's like to have life change on a dime. Please pass the word also to the LeGrand family, that though this tunnel ahead of them is tough and bumpy, at the end of the tunnel is more joy than anyone will ever experience.

Every person who sustained Spinal Cord Injury is lucky to be alive. They were given a second chance at life. And that, is something that everyone get on a daily basis.

Thank you, Coach Schiano for reading my letter and thank you also for passing on this message to Eric and his family.
I wish you and the Rutgers team and family well.
Matt

Hey Eric,

You don't know me nor do I really know you. But now, you have join the ranks of the elite squad. The group of people who are lucky to be alive and who are extremely lucky to have a second chance at life. Let me welcome you to the elite squad and let you know that you are NOT alone.

My name is Matthew Knipe and I broke my neck 4 years ago on the field just like you did. I know EXACTLY what's going on in your mind and your parents'/family's mind. I know things look crazy right now and that halo immobilizer is probably driving you nuts, but trust me, it'll only get crazier from here.

I am not the one to sugar coat anything but I can tell you, after all this crazier things will get loads more fun and exciting. I can already tell you now that you should get used to the ceiling and once they move you out of that bed, you'll actually miss the ceiling. Rehab will be hell but once you get home and get used to things, it'll be the most exciting time of your life.

I am 4 years pass my injury and though at times missing football, I am extremely glad that I am alive and well. I have been giving a second chance at life and not many people get that chance. Things may look gray right now, but no worries, dude, it'll be alright. Rehab is just the road to something great, look forward to leaving the hospital and out of rehab, because there's an entire new world waiting on you. Trust me, I'm a quadriplegic and I know. Plus, the ladies will like the chair, trust me on that one.

LeGrand family, I understand that this is a difficult time and that not everything make sense right now. All the Spinal Cord Injury acronym that the doctors are sharing is extremely confusing and frustrating to know the future. But please have hope, it is with hope and determination that things will turn out better than before. Spinal Cord Injury have changed my life, many say for the worse but I disagree, it opened up a lot of doors and windows for me that I didn't see/recognize before my injury.

Feel free to contact me at anytime, Eric and the LeGrand family. You guys are part of a family now, a Spinal Cord Injury family and if there is anything I can do or help answer, I'd be glad to do that. My email is:

matthew.s.knipe@gmail.com

Good luck with rehab, Eric. It'll be a tough one but nothing like the years you train to get into Rutger. Let me know if you need anything or want advice from someone who went through that same rehab process.
Matt

P.S. When you're out of rehab and ready for a challenge, dude. I'll have a race with ya. I got a manual chair but I am sure I can beat you in a race. What you say?

Week of October 10th, 2010

There has been a lot of new country singles lately and man, there are just a few that I definitely love and can't wait for the album to be released. And last week's tunes- The Breath You Take by George Strait is one of those singles that I love.

Here's another one, by the famous Billy Currington

Billy Currington- Let Me Down Easy

Week of October 3rd, 2010

Lately I've heard two new single by two different artist and really enjoy both of 'em. Here is one of 'em, it's a new single by no one other than the King of Country. George Strait!

I think in life, people tend to go years without slowing down and think about the breath they take. George Strait sure got some amazing lyrics going on here. Enjoy the tune.

The Breath You Take by George Strait

Week of September 26th, 2010

I came home from Church and got this email from an anonymous person:

Matt,

I know that this few weeks have not been easy for you. These few years have not been easy for you at all. And with yesterday, I know you'd rather be playing football than watching football. But keep at it, Matt, you'll do amazing things one day. I know you will. I am sure your Mom and Dad are both very proud of you. Keep at it.

I came across this song not long ago and thought of you. I am sure you are familiar with this music video but if not, watch it. I hope it brings you up when you are down in the dumps.

A friend.

To that friend, I'd like to say thank you.
I am doing the best I can to take myself out of this dump.
Thank you.

Went to Church today and the pastor used a quote that made me think:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverb 4:23

Doing my best right now. Here's this week's Weekly Tunes.
Thanks, friend.

Week of September 19th, 2010

Three topics of discussion today

First I'd like to apologize to my readers for my inconsistency reviews and posts on Knuckles Reviews. Life have been rather busy and I have put off several things on my To-Do List in order to ensure that everything runs smoothly in this household. At the same time I am trying to help save money (good thing to do in this economy?) and have started to reassessing things (one of many things include cutting out cable and just have internet. I don't watch much TV anyways and everything I watch is online. Since we have Netflix, it's not the end of the world if we cut cable- but definitely will miss The History Channel and The Military Channel )

That aside, I have recently discovered a site called Shelfari. Shelfari is a site that let you place books you've read, you plan on reading, and you are currently reading on a virtual bookshelf. It let's the user rate and review the book and even let users join groups base off of which genre the reader likes to read or by a reader's age group.

That said, I had decided to remove the book section out of Knuckles Reviews and replace 'em with the virtual bookshelf that you'll see over at the Book Reviews Page over at Knuckles Reviews. (It took me awhile to settle on a new layout and then customize it. But I think that is the layout and design I'm going to settle with for now) If you click on the books there, it'll bring you over to my Shelfari account. I know there aren't that many books on there right now but I am currently trying to remember all the books I've read since junior high school, rate 'em, review 'em, and put 'em on Shelfari. You read me right, all of the books I've read since jr. high. So it might take awhile but hey, it's on my To-Do list, I'll complete it, eventually.

So don't forget that Knuckles Reviews is still there and if you'd like to review anything or want anything reviewed, you can always contact me!

Next order of business is in regards to this blog. I know I have been lacking at my posts and I apologize. I know I posted a blog about A Change but truth be told I haven't been doing real good at changing anything. I am not afraid to say that I failed at trying to change this blog around, maybe I'm just not ready for the next steps of blogging...

Anyways, if you know me, you know that September does not come easy for me. (Especially towards the end of the month) In order to deal with everything, I tend to pack everything into September so I'll have less free time. The more free time I have, the more I think. The more I think, the more I miss my old life. And that ends to lead to a huge depression hole that I am already trying to get out of. The depression hole truly does not need to be deeper or wider. So, the less free time I have during September, the better.

That pretty much explains why I haven't been posting a lot lately. Either that was an explanation or an excuse. Either way, I apologize again and truly hope that I will find the time to write more (hopefully my brain will collaborate and be in a writing mood) There is a lot of things in this blog that is kind of in a stalemate situation so hopefully, hopefully some time soon I can get the wheel spinning. Thanks for so understanding guys and thank you for reading my blog. Also a huge thank you for my followers and people who are still reading my almost 30,000 tweets since I joined Twitter.

Lastly, here's this week's Weekly Tunes, personally picked by my good friend Cody Allen aka Allen (and yes he is on Twitter, tweet at him and say hi!)

I Don't Have To Be Me ('Til Monday) by Steve Azar

Week of September 12th, 2010

I have always hated it when I wake up crying because of a dream. Because most of the time, I have no clue what happened during the dream. I would open my eyes, my heart would be racing and my face would be trenched in tears.

This morning was different. I was in one of those stage where you ain't really asleep nor were you awake. You're not really sure if you're dreaming or not. (Talk about having an Inception moment...) And I think because of that reason, I remembered the dream so well.

I was just in some random room when Mom walked in. And suddenly, the room turned into a Church and Mom took a seat up in the front. I sat right behind her and bow my head and began to pray. That's when I heard Robin Mark's Be Unto Your Name

I opened my eyes to the song blasting in my ears while playing on my Last.fm. I saw Mom's face and remember how she looked like. She looked well, happy and healthy, just like my Mama that I remembered. Immediately I was in tears. I thanked her for visiting me while listened to the song twice more.

That dream completely caught me off guard. I had tears in my eyes for a few more hours as I lay in bed.
I miss her.
Thank you, Mama, for visiting me.

I love you, Mama.

Week of September 5th, 2010

I haven't had much motivation lately to write a blog. Not sure if this just this time of the year or the fact that the good ideas in my brain are long gone. Either way, haven't blog much lately and I apologize to my readers for that. Hopefully I'll find the motivation to write soon.

I found myself in many conflicts, not with people around me but with myself. Again, maybe that's because it's that time of the year or maybe I'm losing my mind. Either way, hopefully I'll be back to my normal blogging schedule soon.

Be sure to check out Weekly Tunes though. Because there's a reason why I put 'em on my blog. This week, check out "我討厭我自己" (I Hate Myself) by 吳建豪. If you understand the lyrics, good for you. If not, well it's a good song, listen to it anyways.

Chorus:
我討厭我自己 總是搞不定你
難道他比我的心對你還要細膩
當我看到你的窗口透著他的身影
開始懷疑我只是代替品

我討厭我自己 總在樓下等你
在我裝不知情你卻緊緊擁在他的懷裡
當我從照後鏡看到你們的情景 我開始學習放棄

我討厭我自己 by 吳建豪

Week of August 29th, 2010

This week I found myself listen to this song over and over again.
Have a listen.

Week of August 22nd, 2010

Recently through a friend's suggestion (Thanks Eve), I listened to a Norwegian electronic music duo called Röyksopp. After hearing Only This Moment from their album The Understanding, I got hooked. I started exploring their other albums and discovered this song from their album Melody A.M.

This week, enjoy Röyksopp's Eple!
Thanks Eve for introducing me to this duo!

Note: This is a Live version of Eple that's performed in 2009. Personally I think it's even more amazing than the album version.

Week of August 15th, 2010

This week's Weekly Tunes is brought to you by my good friend, Anthony. You can follow him on Twitter- AnthonyMonroe

Thanks Mr. Anthony!
Enjoy Sara Smile by Hall & Oats

Live version from 1982! Way before I was born!

Week of August 8th, 2010

Yesterday I decided to take a trip with Sarah in honor and memory of Mom. One of the many special thing I used to do with Mom is just to take a random trips. Trips where there is no particular destination. We just drive and stop when we wanted to and stop when we discover a place that's cool or places that's just Heaven on Earth and undiscovered by the majority of the population.

Sarah and I took that trip today. Needless to say we stop by the mall and the Apple Store (Again, I got hooked on the iPad they had on display) so I can get new headphones but we took the trip and found an amazing place that is truly Heaven on Earth and that was when I decided to keep this secret place between Sarah and myself. And when Dad gets home, we can make this our family secret spot.

On the way home, I thought of Mom and Dad. I've always looked up to 'em for guidance and need but slowly I realized I am learning more from them than I initially believed. I see the love and relationship between 'em that can not be broken by deployments, sickness, or even death. And not too long ago, I vouched for myself to do the same in the future.

This song reminds me of my parents' love for each other. No matter the time, no matter the distance, I have a feeling they'll love each other till the day after forever. And I also have a feeling this is what Mom said to Dad when they last talked.

Oooh if our maker calls and takes me,
And leaves you here alone,
Don't be sad because I'm not that far away,
Once again hand in hand we'll walk the far side of the moon,
I look forward to lookin' back with you,
Oh baby,
I look forward to lookin' back with you.


Craig Morgan's Lookin' Back With You

I love you Mama

Week of August 1st, 2010

Can't believe it's already August, wow 2010 is going by really fast!

Anyways, I first heard this song on the radio and the station was talking about Mr. Kenny Chesney's new single The Boys of Fall and when the album might be released.

I heard the song and froze. Froze because this song reminded me of me. This song reminded me of what I constantly call "life". This song reminded me of something that I hold close and dear, football.

I wrote an e-mail (but don't know how to send it) to Mr. Kenny Chesney explaining my love for football and my gratitude for him for writing this song. I've never had a song that represents me so well. Truly amazing song. If you know anyways I can send this e-mail/letter to Mr. Chesney, please let me know, I would love for him to read it. Also be sure to watch ESPN on Monday- August 2nd, for a premiere video of this song.

Now let's enjoy this song
Kenny Chesney- The Boys of Fall