Thank you

Really, I don't know how else to say it other than thank you. Thank you to everyone that offered advice to help me cheer Sean up. Thank you for those who tried to make me feel better. Thank you.

It's funny when your friends from all over the world try so hard to cheer you up and make your situation seem somewhat better, you have nothing on your mind than what's at hand. Even though they try so hard, you tend to zone out of what they're saying to you, what their singing and focus on the situation at hand.

Is it the mind that blocks you from what good things your friends are saying or your body that physically can't forget about the bad news? What is it really and at this point, I don't care.

I don't seem to care about anything anyone is asking me. I don't seem to be able to focus on what I need to be doing. (i.e planning out the lay out of the house and summer AP homework) Only thing on my mind is this 5 year old boy, holding tight onto my neck and can't tell me what's wrong or what he would like to do.

I really wonder what's on his mind. That smile he had yesterday, the smile, the laugh, the questions, all gone. And like a psychiatric patient, he sits on my lap, staring into my laptop and just stares. No words, no smile, no laugh, not even a grin.

I can see the lost look in his eyes. And don't know how to fix it.
I wish I can.

Knuckles Tip #3- Packing

Finish telling your friends yet? If you're extremely popular, have fun telling all of them or let the news travel. If you're boring like me and have few friends only, you're probably done by now and they are somewhat taking in the news.

Let it soak in...it'll take time. Like my Grandpa once told me, "Matt, telling your friends you're moving is like washing out a tough grease stain, got to pour the soap on the grease and just let it sit for awhile, son. Trust me, it'll work out better and faster."

So...listen to wise grandpa (or don't) and let the news soak in, it'll be easier to handle later on.

Onwards to Tip #3
For Adults/older teens: Packing
For kids/younger teens: Dumping everything in a box and try to make it fit by sitting on it.

PACKING IS AN ART.

Listen to me trying to sound like some sort of a smart guy, but really guys it is an art. First off you got to make sure you get the right boxes. Then after that, make sure you got your trusty Sharpie- If you're reading this and have young kids, have them use a marker or something. I just read that somewhere in the US kids are getting high off of Sharpies...weird- and in the mindset to pack. (Or procrastinate it, that helps too but then you'll just either end up getting yelled at by your parents or have to sit on your packing box hoping everything will fit. I know I'm a procrastinator myself but really, think ahead, make it easier on yourself.)

If you're anything like me, you're a neat freak either by choice or your SNCO Dad made you into a neat freak. But either way, set a plan and try to stick with it. Think about what you have in your room right now and ask your parents how much room you can pack. Sometimes, sadly, you can't bring all the stuff you have right now. So you'll have to choose between the "I want to bring this" and "I need to bring this". (Even though I'm sure a lot of the things you're going to pack are going to be a "need" anyways)

Boxes!

So, take a look around your room right now. What do you see? Start from a small area like say your desk or a book shelve. Look at the things and think about if you're going to need it any time soon or not. If not, hey, put it down on the check list.

You're probably thinking "Who the hell still use a check list anymore?!?" Really, it can be helpful not only to keep track of your stuff when you are unpacking but at the same time, you get a good look of what you're packing and if you can shorten up the list if your parents are breathing down your neck about it.


If you're parents are anything like mine, they have a dead line for when you need to finish packing with everything labeled. So, after you've somewhat made a list, start packing away the things you might not need and somewhat try to make an effort to make that dead-line. Why? Cause believe it or not, there's a reason why they set those dead-lines, if something to go wrong (knock on wood) there will be time to recover. Last minute thing can get kind of crazy so, make it easier on your parents alright?

Now, onto the packing itself. Really, packing is an art. When you have the things you're going to pack, think of it as a game of Tetris. (Don't know what I'm talking about then go here to play the game, come on, you've never heard of Tetris, what are you a loser? Go here now and take a break from all this reading and packing stuff and play some Tetris) You want to try and make the space within the box disappear. Simple? It can be.

Label 'Em!

So use your head and see what you need to back and make it fit like the blocks on Tetris. When you're all done, you just might be surprised on how many things you put in there, how well it fits and you can closed it up with some tape without having to sit on it or your parents yelling at you on why it's so darn big.

Last, don't forget, grab your Sharpie/marker and either write your name all over it or write what's in the box. Trust me, it saves a lot of time when you're unpacking to know which box is actually yours and not your Great-great-great-great-grandma's "dishes" (I mean China-why the hell do they call it that anyways?!?) that your Mom have and will never use. And if you're really bored, draw the up arrow and color them or something, plus it'll tell the movers which side is up, see it's a win win situation.

Don't forget to tape it shut with mover's tape too. Best part about the sealing is listen to the mover's tape come off the roll. Holy cow it's awesome.

To the parents: Yes, your China passed own from your Great-great-great-grandma are important, but packing for us kids are important too. Hey it's our stuff don't try and tell us what to do about it. How much things can go in the box are fine but don't actually do the packing for us without physically doing it. Remember, it is OUR stuff.

If your kids are younger, I know it can be a bit crazy trying to tell them to fit everything nicely into a big box that looks more fun than any games they have. But trust me, remember that "we want to feel like we’re important" stuff I talked about? Ya we want to feel important, like we're all grown up. So let us toss things in the box, it gets things done right? Sort of...but you get what I'm saying

If your kids are young teen/teen: I don't know what else to say...less screaming and nagging = more packing? Get my drift? Good, ha.

Until next time, hug your parents and tell them you love them, grab the Sharpie and start writing. Go make a list of things you need and want or something.

Ya right…you and I both know it's more fun when you procrastinate.

P.S. If you are like me with Spinal Cord Injury or need to use a wheelchair for any reason, here's extra tip for you. When you pack, make sure you put the boxes on top of the bed or somewhere higher than the ground. Really, when the boxes are full, it's easier to pick them up from the bed than from the ground. Ok it's impossible, there I say it. So just a tiny tip and FYI.

Next tip: Knuckles Tip #4- Moving Day or Knuckles Tip #4 Part 2- Moving Day Cont.

I'm here, I'm safe, and I had fun...sort of.

So a lot of people have been asking me if I finally moved and how the drive over was. So I thought I do a quick blog about it right now and maybe go into details later if and when people ask.

Where to start...

Funny thing is, I don't remember much about the movers getting here and finish all their work. Yes I was supposed to be "supervising" them but hey, a little secret, I wasn't really paying attention, I was more half asleep.

So before I knew it, I got a map in my lap with Dosh in the seat next to me and taking the lead driving out of the main gate in my own car. I have to say...it was weird feeling knowing you probably won't be back here again. (Maybe all because of watching the drive from the front instead of the backseat.)

Total miles to get where I am now, according to Google Maps, it's over 1200 miles. Yes, count them right, it's a long drive. And what I discovered was finally why all the years I was riding in the back seat was filled with "Are we there yet" statement.

I said I got in touch with our nation's dirt, grass, hills and not to mention weeds. Cuz it's true, that's a lot of what I saw during the drive. And trust me it's nowhere near fun and exciting. (Though it was exciting when you do pass a big city then it kills the joy when you're heading towards more sand and hills, strange I know.)

Long story short, I made it here, I'm safe, Dosh is safe, and I had...
Sort of, somewhat...
Actually I'm not sure if you'd qualify this as "fun"
So...
Ya I'm here, lol

More on it later, Sean just challenged me to a Battleship match. Watch me get an ass whooping by a 5 year old!

Not tired, can't sleep, don't know why.

I don't know why I can't sleep, why I'm not tired and why everything else.

Just thought I could leave this post happy and good things, the person I want to see the least showed up. I don't know what her problem is, I don't want to see her and she just don't seem to understand. Her, meaning my ex girlfriend from junior high. Yes you heard me right, from junior high. Her Dad got stationed in Germany but hey, since it's summer and she and her mom is on vacation visiting her grandparents, she thought "it'd be fun" to come and track me down and "just say hi".

I don't need someone who I haven't seen since 8th grade (that's what, 4 years?) show up on my life and have a "surprise" for me. She didn't even know I got hurt, she doesn't know a lot of things and her showing up. Boy...it was a mess and I did not want to re-live how I got hurt down to the deepest detail.

I took her off post to Sonic and just like a stranger that don't know anything about my injury, she stared without asking any questions. That upsets me more than one who ask questions none stop. I am not a statue nor am I a stone. Staring at me with that look in the eyes doesn't help. We just sat there for an hour, and for once, she had nothing to say. She just stared at me and I stared back.

When will society and the people learn not to stare quietly? When will society and the people learn to stare and ask questions? I wonder if I'll live that long to see it happen.

As I'm sitting in my room, looking around what was once a room full of trophies, posters, it's strange to say that for some reason, I have never felt the feeling I am feeling now. This house belongs to the government, it belongs to the Army, and as I'm sitting in my chair staring at the walls, I wonder if the years I lived here made a difference for the house.

I'm a brat and really, lived in many different houses already in my life. But for once, I am wondering about the people who lived in this house before me and wonder who will be living here after me. I wonder if the things I've done in this house will make any memories for others and the house itself. Somehow, I felt as if the houses I live are like letters and my family and many others are the post office stamps that leave marks on these "letters".

There's a saying "The walls have ears" and sitting in my chair at 0250, I wonder if they can hear me. I wonder if what I say to it now will make a difference. I wonder if I tell them my darkest, deepest secret, they'll hold it in the wall spaces and someday, think of me.

And for some strange reason, I have the biggest urge to put my hand against the wall, kiss it, and cry. I sure am going to miss this house. I really am.

Talking, kissing, crying to walls...I think I'm going nuts. Am I?
I bet I am...

Stupidity, Ignorance, and Extremely Careless

It's almost 0300 and I am wide awake. At this point I'm not sure if it's the excitement/dread of moving that is keeping me up or the fact that I just want to make sure Sean is okay. As much as I would like to tell myself that he is, sad truth is, he's not.

And for some reason laying in this bed with him, listening to music while he lay his head against my shoulder my mind started wondering. The big c is something we as a society try not to think about. We all know what it is, we know what people have to go through to fight this monster, but we don't think about it enough. We don't think about the sick adults and children. We don't think about their families, what they have to go through, the emotional and physical pain. And somehow, a simple "I can't imagine what you're going through." just passes through the mouth like saying "Hello"

But, for some reason, I started to wonder. And just like that, I read pages after pages of what Medulloblastoma is, how it affects the body and so much more. I didn't even know there were different kinds of brain cancer let alone pronouncing the damn word. I feel stupid, naive, not to mention extremely careless of what's going on around me. And the more I read, the more question I have. The more I read, the more I wonder how smart I really am.

And for a moment I wish I can call up my old schools and tell them to get rid of my GPA all together. I don't at all deserve this GPA and these grades. I can't believe how ignorant, stupid, or whatever you want to call me.

And looking at these pages then back at Sean, I wonder if he knows what I'm reading. I wonder if he knows what's going on inside my head. And parts of me feared that he will ask what I'm doing, why I'm looking so serious into the screen for and how come he's sick. How do you answer Medulloblastoma to a 5 year old kid? He knows he's sick, he probably doesn't care why he's sick. He knows already and it's hard to explain in more detail of what he already knows.

And I thought answering the birds and the bees question would be hard. This, this is hard.

And that's just touching the surface. I can tell he's got questions but afraid to ask them. He's got more questions than just being sick but questions about his parents, where they're at, why can't they come home right now, and so much more.

And with that, I seem to run out of all ideas and answers. I just smile at him with the most stupid look on my face as possible and hopefully that he'll forget everything.

Ha, you're old...

Isn't it funny how age just comes sooner rather than later. Today marks the 234th birthday of US Army. Holy shit...Army's old and 234 ha, funny. Not really doing anything crazy today other than chilling out with Sean and watch a couple of G.I Joe with him and maybe a couple movies. For people who have asked about Sean, thank you. There are days he can bounce off the walls of his hospital room and there are days he will scream and cry from missing his parents to the pain from the tumors/chemo/radiation. Last couple days have been tough but right now, he's alright, still sick as a horse but good enough to say. "Matt, look puke looks like sand where Mommy and Daddy are. Cool!"

US Army 234th birthday

Geeze...kids...

On another note, some professor from Rio left me a comment on my blog and completely made my day, it's amazing what one can say to make someone's day that much better. Thank you, professor, again, for the comment. It really made my day a lot better.

So, I don't really have in mind to write a lot other than mentioning Army's birthday today so signing off of here to chill out with Sean some more, maybe get started on the AP summer homework (ya right...), or actually start thinking about what to give Dad for Father's Day (currently no idea for a gift...none at all)

Oh and FYI for the people who are following Army Wives. I watched it with my Mom and she started going off on her rant (hormones I bet). I personally have no comments about it...I don't even know who half of these people are. But heyyyy that girl (what's her face...the base commander's daughter, Emmalin or something)...whoever plays her is looking finnnneee.

P.S. I looked up the girl...her name is Katelyn Pippy, she's 16. Ya ok I still think she's fine. Just give me a good reason to actually watch the show with Mom. Hope I don't get in trouble for this...

Some things...just don't happen twice.

When you're part of the military life, sometimes...you wonder to yourself if the idea of "getting used to death" make you sound like a lifeless, inconsiderate fool. Death is part of life and unfortunately, it always sits in the back of your mind when you are (in any ways) related to the military. Death is part of life and when you've been to that many funerals, that many memorial serves as I have, in some ways, you become numb and lifeless. And when breaking down is no longer part of you, you wonder if you can ever break down again and you doubt you can. Until you do and it completely surprises you.

But that's Death many of us don't have to see first hand. That's Death we hear about after it passes. But what do you do when you are staring at Death right in the eye. What do you do when you are watching Death do its tormenting work on the ones you know and love?

Would you still be numb as when someone says, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation..." Would you still be the one that tries to hold off tears as the bagpipes slowly moves away? Would your hands still shake from the sound of the rifles firing their 21-gun salute?

Me? I sat by Sean completely numb just like I did years ago attending my cousin's funeral at Arlington Cemetery. I sat there in his hospital room last night hearing him cry and beg for the pain to stop. I sat there, and like a fool, I finally realized that some things...just don't happen twice.

My parents and I, we're a country family. We're big on Country music from Johnny Cash to George Strait, from Toby Keith to Willie Nelson and that much more. It was Mom's idea to release the stress of moving to attend CMA Festival this year, since the Army have placed us in the home-state of County music. For years we've only watched it on TV and for years...I've dream to attend the biggest country party, ever. And when the day I held the 4-day pass in my lap...holy cow, I could faint from lack of breathing.

And I still am short breathed...for the couple hours I was down there in Nashville, it was amazing, the party, the music, the people. I couldn't ask for more. But some things...only happen once. Some things like life. And last night, at 2230, a little 5 year old taught me more than I can ever teach him.

And today, I am reminded of that lesson, not by Sean but my friends. Since the beginning of my blogging "career" and Twittering "management" I've met a lot of wonderful people. People like Tucker, Heidi, and Mom made my every day reading their blog and Twitter page. And just like that, I've made friends from "strangers". I learn from them as I learn from my parents and I laugh with them as if they're my friends.

Today, I give credit to my friend, LopsidedMom and her good friend Annie for reminding me that some things...just don't happen twice. Annie was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma early June of 2008. As I read about her condition getting worse, I pray for the best. I prayed for her and I prayed for Sean. And somehow, without thinking, I called my friend and offered him my 4-Day pass to CMA Festival.

As much as I love Country music, as much as I want to party my ass off for four days. I gave the pass away. Because of Sean, because of LopsidedMom and because of Annie, I realized what's important at hand. I realized that Sean needs me now more than I need the Festival.

Sean, with his 5 year old body and 100 year old spirit, is fighting with Death. And while I can't do anything to help the fight, I sit by his bed wishing I can do more. I sit by his bed watching Death tormenting my 5 year old cousin and once again...feel as helpless as the day I learned about the insurgents that killed my cousin.

But for now I will watch Death torment Sean. But at the same time, I am cherishing life by hanging out with Sean, by holding Sean when he's in pain and crying and more. Because, really, Sean needs me more than I need the Festival. Because, really, some things just don't happen twice.

Thanks to Mr. Kenny Chesney for that awesome line. Sorry I'm going to miss you and the closing ceremony at the CMA Festival this year but really my cousin needs me.

Damn time goes by fast...WHERE'S THE PAUSE BUTTON

Right...so...after writing the amount of Knuckles Tips I think I'm finally settled down enough to actually write something in my blog. (If you don't know what I'm talking about then check here for Knuckles Tips. It's going to be a collection of tips that I've gathered either through life or from people. Who knows, maybe these tips might come in handy to someone someday.

Recent activities...where do I start.

Aside from the allergies and fever last night, everything is fine. We got X weeks till we move to Ft. X and with Dad back (hell yes!) things are a lot easier on Mom, which I am extremely glad. Well...considering she got this baby in her belly and then the moving part, ya, harsh on her.

Rewind back to what happened recently. I think I told you that Sean wasn't feeling well before and we had to send him to the hospital. So after school got out, my day is pretty much around this hospital and this X city. Nothing to complain about, as long as Sean is feeling somewhat ok, I'm good. Though he's too sick to leave the hospital, I think we came up with a plan for when we get to Ft. X so he can still feel like home even though he's staying in the hospital room all day long.

And Dad...well as mysterious as he left the house how many months ago, he just mysteriously came back. I woke up from a nap one day and saw this random dude with a beard looking right down at me. And he was the one telling me to shave...guess he got an excuse and I don't. Great to have Dad back though, this PCS and Mom's prego thing can go a lot smoother when there's actually a man that knows what he's doing.

Sean's doing ok, still a tough dude with crazy ambitions. Chemo and radiation have done a ton on his weight and looks but hey, his mind is still nuts like a 5 year old and even though he's sick most of the time. He still got his ways to lighten the situation up for all of us. I think that's the greatest thing about curiosity and innocence.

Aside from all this...when I was told we were moving awhile back, there were a lot on my mind and really, Airborne, my horse was one of the major ones. Airborne was a great horse before I got hurt and even after, he's still amazing. He's good with the chair and actually enjoy me riding him and taking walks. Even though I did what I can to convince my parents it'd be a good idea to take him to Ft. X with us...it never was ok. My parents were right, "If you want to play rugby, school, and help out with Sean and not to mention the house work. You won't have time to ride Airborne. He'll miss you like crazy and hurt him, which I'm sure you don't want."

Sure going to miss this bad boy

Funny...parents know what to say for you to completely drop the subject. So, after talking to my grandparents, Airborne will be going to their ranch which he will have room to go crazy if he wants to. (He already did by the way, left yesterday with my grandparent) Which is good in a way, wouldn't want him to be shut inside all the time. I sure am going to miss him though.

Coming back to current times...life's good, packing is crazy with so few weeks to go before the big move. And while my Dad can be strict sometimes, other times he's just nuts. He got back home, we talked, and out of nowhere, he told me he'll get me a new chair. Which, at this time, I am extremely excited about. The chair should be here today, so, I am extremely happy. I'll have pictures later but this is the chair picture on the webiste:

TiLite TR Rigid Chair. Titanium, it's bad ass.

One news that got nothing to do with me but got something to do with my parents. (Sort of got nothing to do with me...sort off...) My mom got her ultrasound today and looks like I'm going to have a sister pretty soon. (But not soon enough?) I'm kind of excited but like I said before...still nervous how all this will turn out. My Mom's already going nuts looking at names and planning the new house with the nursery and so on. It might be me but I think it's the hormones that's making her crazy, sad, and happy all at the same time. Not to mention the cravings she still got....

"She looks like a Sarah..." How original Dad...

Thank God Dad's home...he can deal with the food cravings drive while I chill out here with Sean.

Knuckles Tip #2- Shock (Inspired by Tucker)

Really...the woman rocks. She makes me laugh every time I read her blog. Check her site if you got no clue what I'm talking about. Really at this point I'm already running out of ideas. Not that there isn't a lot I can talk about but really too much ideas is like over floating a cup and eventually everything just kind if evaporates...and yes...the cup does too.

Anyways, I got nothing so I'll just follow what she wrote about. Every PCS or life got faces. While parents and grown ups are dealing with issues, we're dealing with another. So here goes....

Anyways…Tip #2
For Adults/older teens: After the PCS news ok more like "shock"
For kids/younger teens:"I'm moving, John Anybody." "WHAT?!? NOOOO." "Yes, I'm moving."

DON'T "BREAK" THE NEWS TO YOUR FRIENDS. TELL 'EM!

Right so by now you know you're moving. You're over the "I don't want to move" tantrum and believe it or not, you're actually somewhat excited to be going to the snow, out of country, or wherever you're going. If you're parents are somewhat sane...they'll tell you on Thursday or Friday. So, what, it gives you Thursday to digest the thought of moving. Then it gives you Friday to think about telling your friends and you probably end up either "chicken out" or too busy to, fine, no problem. Oh look weekends! Thank God, you get two more days to find out a way to tell your friends. You know you should tell your them you're moving but you just don't know how and by the time you want to even start thinking about it, it's Sunday night and you're lying in bed going, "WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!?" or something like that. *Considering there might be parents reading these...just don't swear in front of your parents alright...that's the quickest way to get them pissed off or you grounded, whichever is worse. If you really got to do it, at least do it in your mind or under the covers. No screaming it though, blankets and pillows aren't sound proof. If you haven't figure that one out already...*

So, from experience, calm down, jog in place or something and chill. You got over the "Honey we're moving." part and I'm sure telling your friends is as easy as your parents telling you the news. If you haven't gotten over the "We're moving." part, do that first. Really you can't tell your friends you're moving if you yourself isn't somewhat calm/sane. (Sounded like what you're parents were/are going through right now. Oh they hide it but you and I know it's there. They're going nuts with the paperwork, house selling, whatever adults do.) So stay calm and think of the best way to TELL your friends and not "break" the news.

I'm sure you're like me, by now you've moved billion of times (or something like that) and each time it gets harder and harder to tell your friends that you're moving. Here's what you do, it's a little something I like to call. APPLY. RINSE. REPEAT.

We're not selling shampoos here and even if we were, it'd be the same. Apply the same tactics that your parents did to tell your friends. If your parents didn't read what I wrote before and their tactics sucks, don't blame them, just come up with something new. "So I heard the snow out in Colorado is nice during this time of year." is a better conversation starter than "OMG I'M MOVING I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH."

Rinse. Not going to lie, your friends are probably going to go nuts or somewhat upset that you're moving. It's normal but don't splash the news at them then leave them out to fend for themselves. They're your friends that you've made for how many years you've stayed there, they're your buddies, pal, bros, whatever you call them so don't leave hanging. There's a reason why you can't just leave shampoo in your hair...wash it out geeze before you get your Mom pissed that you didn't completely wash your hair. Rise it, really. Don't leave the shampoo aka your friends hanging. It's not cool at all and just like shampoo...if you leave it in your hair for too long they'll start to stink. (Bad analogy I know but it's the truth.) If you leave your friends hanging there, they'll stink and shut themselves off from you. And oh look you don't want that, remember that social network thing I talked about before? Ya that doesn't work when your friends don't want to see your face let alone talk to you. Got it? Good.

Repeat. Hopefully your parents give you time to let this moving thing sink in. Cuz really...it's going to need some repeating for it to work. Keep talking to your friends and do the things I talked about before. Tell them it's going to be chill and you can still talk and see each other (virtually) as often as possible. Unless you're some dude/dudettes that don't like getting their hair cleaned, you're going to repeat the "hair washing" process right? I hope so...if not...then you're on your own.

To the parents: Believe it or not telling your kids the news of moving is just as difficult as us telling our friends. It's hard, it's crazy, and just like you we got no clue what or how to say it.

If your kids are younger, invite his/her friends over and tell them together of this moving news. (I know what you’re thinking…."LIKE I GOT ANY TIME ON MY HANDS TO HAVE MORE KIDS IN THE HOUSE!" But really, it's fine, just for half an hour, or 10 minutes, even. Really, we don't have that much of an attention span anyways. We just want to feel like we're important but truly we just want to hear it and get the hell out of there so we can play in the backyard or something. But really, it helps.)

If your kids are young teen/teen…don't and I say DON'T invite our friends over. DON'T. Let us handle this on our own alright. We both know that you got more things on your plate like selling the house or going through checklists. You got better things to do than to tell a bunch of teens that "it's ok you can still contact us" in the so called cutest voice. Don't, really, we're fine, we're teens. We can handle ourselves most of the time.

What you can do though, is just kind of check in on us once awhile. Cuz even if we don't admit it, it's kind of cool to "get the attention" from our parents once awhile. That's right, ONCE AWHILE, not EVERYDAY. Just ask something simple like "how are your friends taking it?" and if we answer "fine" don't push it! You might know it's not fine but pushing it and trying to make us talk doesn't help. To the caring Moms out there...really don't. It'll just ruins your "Goody Mom" shoes and image. "Fine" means fine. Even though it might not be. But we're teens alright, we're cool like that and if we can handle the family car, we can handle telling the news to our friends. (I can hear some parent chuckling while reading this. WE HANDLE THE FAMILY CAR JUST FINE ALRIGHT?!?) Back off a bit please, we're teens not kids. Thanks.

Until next time, hug your parents and tell them you love them, grab the keys and go for a ride with your friends and tell them the news gently. Go somewhere off post where your parents can't tack you or something. Wait...unless you got those GPS things on your phone, then just stay on post and don't do anything too crazy that the MPs will wonder what the hell you're up to.

Ya right…you and I both know it's fun to taught the MPs. But keep this on the DL I think they're onto us.

Next tip: Knuckles Tip #3- Packing

Knuckles Tip #1- PCS (Inspired by Tucker)

Before I start, I'm kind of running this as whatever comes up to my mind. So for those who are actually reading this and want a subject, let me know through comments, Twitter, message, whatever. It'd be a nice addition too, to know that people are actually reading (and maybe enjoying?) what I'm writing. Hmmm...this might be a good idea for a radio show thing...CRAZY IDEAS FLOWING more on it later.

Anyways...Tip #1
For Adults/older teens: PCS
For kids/younger teens:"What? PCS?!? What's that? Oh...we're moving...NOOOOOO. WHYYYYY. NOOOO. I'M STAYING. I DON'T CARE I'M STAYING. I'M NOT MOVING. NO!!!"

AS MUCH AS YOU DON'T WANT TO MOVE, DEAL WITH IT.

Ok that sounded more like my Dad's words when he got pissed at me one day but hell...why not cuz by now you've probably heard it more than once in your life. It sounds harsh but really...it's the truth.

We brats are born into a strange yet proud and amazing family. Since we are born, you probably know your immediate family and at the same time, you know family from people say your parents know or families on post. Now whether you want to admit it or not...they're family. They know how this life will be for you for the next 18+ years, they know what's going to happen, and believe it or not, they all want to help you as much as you can.

And while you may or may not like it, moving is just part of this life we got to get use to. And there's nothing I can say that's going to make you like/hate it less. Because that's just how it is, matter of fact, as I am typing this, tons of family is going through what you and I are going through. It's just part of life.

But breathe. We are actually pretty lucky. (Can't believe I said it but yes, we are.) Considering we got internet, social networks, emails, and not to mention blogs...ya you're fine, you can keep track of your friends via Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, or whatever. You can even email them or hey..."old fashion" snail mail. Think...if we were living the days only telegrams exist...ya you would probably go nuts. Think about how lucky we are that our messages to our friends isn't "I space miss space you end of sentence" or even ".. -- .. ... ... -.-- --- ..- " Right? Right. So really, you're not losing any friends, just not going to see them as often. OH WAIT there's something I'd like to call...WEB CAMS, there, problem solved.

As far as making friends...if you're reading this and a teen...by now you've master the art of making new friends. Right? So really...shouldn't be that hard. Everyone got their own method, and yours probably work better than mine. *SUGGESTION* Don't try to fit in, be yourself, seek people with same interest or even start/follow someone's conversation. "Hey I like your chair, it looks pretty cool." "Oh thanks, I got it from...." *END SUGGESTION* You get what I'm saying? Do your mojo on them or something...you can make friends, trust me.

Right...so now it's not sounding so bad. So stop reading, go to your parents' room and apologize for yelling at them and tell them why you said you don't want to move and that it's fine now. (Cuz it will be, trust me.) Really, it's not that bad, none at all. Remember, just part of life. You can do this, you've done it before, I've done it before and yes, you can. It's not that bad. Now get to it...go ask your parents if you can make a Facebook/MySpace or get a WebCam when you get wherever you're going. Just don't tell them you got that idea from me.

To the parents: One thing that got me through all the moves is definitely my Mom reassuring me it'd be fun and adventurous and that I can still contact my old friends.

If your kids are younger, turn it into a "game". Trust me, packing was a lot more fun when I got to do it myself. (I know what you're thinking....disaster waiting to happen...but really, it worked out ok when my Mom "watched" over my shoulder. HINT HINT But keep in mind we hate parents watching our every move..so just "watch" alright? We might be kids but we can still see you glaring at us by the door, yes you, I'm talking to you, ma'am. Don't do it, no, "watch" but not watch, please.)

If your kids are young teen/teen...you're on your own. KIDDING. You're the parent...you should know what to say to make this PCS as right as it can go for us. Say the right words can turn the frown upside down and make this move a lot more happier for everyone. My Mom's exact words when we moved to Ft. Carson years ago was "They got snowwwwwwwww!!!!" rather than "come on hon...you know we got to do this, we're a family." See the difference? Right. And even the "I'll let make a Facebook/MySpace so you can still talk to your friends!" can make it just that much better. Just remember, CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY!

Until next time, hug your parents and tell them you love them, grab some allowance and go down to the PX just to stand in front of the huge TV you wish you had and watch whatever they're showing. No don't do that...help with the shopping list of something...

Ya right...you and I both know the TV is way cooler.

Next tip: Knuckles Tip #2- Shock (Inspired by Tucker)

Sure be nice to do something else for a change...

That's exactly how I feel right now. It'd sure be nice to do something else for a change. It'd be nice to be able to do what I've wanted to do for many years. It'd be nice to go for a real jog, even for a day, or an hour even.

At 0500, friends somehow got on the topic of military and just like that, my day seem to get from okay to worse. Just like that...weird isn't it.

I have a lot of family members and friends in the military. And from a young age the thought about joining the military and following everyone's footsteps was one of the dreams I've had. It was to a point I am willing to give up football to continue this family tradition. I still remember elementary school, I told my Dad I wanted to be just like him, be in the Army and do great things. He smiled at me and said, "Great." I still remember during junior high school, I told my Dad I want to join the Marines and got a slap upside the head followed by, "way to be a jar."

Why does that seem so distant right now...a small dream, a wish no longer exist. A dream to be a part of something great is no longer possible.

"If I'm gonna go I'll go all the way and be a Marine." was what a friend said.

If it's possible...I want to be a Marine too.
If it's possible...

Lord, please don't let these tears fall...
Please guide me in my time of need...

Sure be nice to do something else for a change...