Weekly Update

First off, for those who are wondering how I'm doing with the new blog, it's a work in progress. Since I'm back in school, I don't got as much time on my hands. So I'll try and get the test blog going and what not before making some huge changes to the main blog. Thank you for being patient with me as I get that sorted out and what not. Hopefully I can have the test blog up by the end of this weekend.

Now...onto several things that happened this week.

1. On Wednesday, I went to see my friend's Dad, who happens to be a Pastor at a Presbyterian Church nearby. We talked about nothing but religion. He told me a lot of things that I was just wondering about and well...after talking to him for an hour. I must say that I felt really good for some random reason and got this strange feeling that I've never got before. He gave me a lot of materials to read and after finishing up 3 little booklets of it, I'm glad I talked to him. I'm intrigued by the ways of the Presbyterian Church and so much more. Bits of me even wants to start going to a Presbyterian Service on Sundays just to see what's the difference between that and Mass.

If you don't know, I'm baptized into the Catholic Church, so well I don't know how my parents will feel talking to a Presbyterian Pastor about anything let along thinking of going to a Presbyterian Service. I do know what my Grandparents will do though if they ever find out. They'd probably throw a crazy fit and fly out here just to bitch at me.

Later that afternoon, I cried. Out of nowhere, just cried. Maybe it was the song I was listening to on my iPod or something but for some reason and at that moment I missed Sean so much, I cried. Wasn't for a long time, maybe 10 minutes or so while I shut myself in the bathroom and just cried. Now I hate crying and crying sure didn't make me feel better about anything around me so I don't even know why I cried. I was just missing the little guy is all.

2. Yesterday, Bama won against the Longhorns. Call me a "bad Texan" if you wish but I never was a Longhorns fan. Glad Crimson Tide won, extremely glad. I'm just going to post what I wrote on the day of the game.

"Sitting here hearing that McCoy won't be back for 2nd half got me thinking. When will coaches learn that you always got to train your backup player as if he's your star player. You don't leave a freshman hanging thinking that your star player is invisible. When will players learn that they got to train as hard as the star player and much more and always expect the what ifs. You can't go on your year thinking you might never play. I personally had to talk to my backup for hours just to get him going on the receiver spot when I got hurt. Truly, they say don't put all your eggs in one basket. And they're right."

3. Last night, I dreamed about football. Sure was nice to make a catch like that again on my own two feet. Sure is nice to hear the crowd and see my teammates out in that field. Just weren't happy I had to wake up because the alarm went off.

4. Before last night, I've been having the same dream over and over again. In my dream, I'm in my kitchen, telling my parents that I'm going to enlist. Next thing I know, I'm going to basic. Next thing I know, I'm back at home after OSUT. Next thing I know, I'm in the airport saying goodbye to my parents and Sarah because of a deployment to Afghanistan. I told my Dad I want to do SFAS when I get back. My Dad, being who he is, said to me: "There is nothing I can teach you that will prepare you for SFAS." after a long pause, he said, "when you come back, I'll show you what I know." I remember hugging and kissing my Mom. I remember holding and kissing Sarah and I remember shaking Dad's hands before leaving.

Then I heard a knock on the door while I was sitting in the living room. I saw my Mom answering the door. Two men dressed in their class A's were at the door. I held my breath, I knew they were CNOs. As my Mom asked 'em to come inside, I told my Mom to sit down next to me. We knew what was coming.

"The Secretary of the Army has asked me to express his deep regret that your son, Matthew was killed in action...The Secretary extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family in your tragic loss."

As my Mom sat on the couch crying, I couldn't believe it, I was sitting right there. I called her name but she wouldn't answer.

And just like that, I woke up. I don't know what this dream is trying to tell me or what kind of things may have happened. Just hope that this dream won't ever come back any time soon. I hate to see my Mom cry, when she hurts, I hurt, even if it's just in my dreams.

5. Today, I read an article on Major Nidal Malik Hasan from Time Magazine. The article had literally everything about Maj. Hasan, from his childhood life to his high school dreams and beyond. They even had pictures of where he was the morning of the shooting, pictures of the places he grew up in, everything. And let me tell you, it was 5 pages long. I read every single word of the article and first thing came to my mind was...

Why is it that in this world, articles are often published about the person who has done wrong. Why is it, that in this world, the media focus solely on the wrong doing of a person or the people? Why on earth, are we not reading about the life stories and dreams of the 13 victims at Ft. Hood?! Why are earth, are we not learning about their home-town, their high school buddies, their likes or dislikes, goals and aspirations?!

Articles and articles about such criminal acts are found everywhere. Colmbine, Virginia Tech, Ft. Hood, and so much more. We seems to know and heard everything about Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold, Seung-Hui Cho, and even Maj. Hasan but nothing about any of the victims of such criminal acts.

Why?

Anyways...that's it for this week, hopefully I'll have everything transferred to BlogSpot by the end of the month.

Thanks for being patient with me guys and as always, thanks for reading.