Thursday, January 28, 2010

Our Danger Zone

I think we all have a time in our lives when we realize we ain't cut out for something we'd like to do. And for that moment myths become facts. For that moment, mysteries become realities.

Earlier this afternoon, I came home to a frantic call from Nicole. I could tell she's been crying because I did not understand a single word she left on the answering machine. First words she said to me when I called her back was...

"I can't do this, babe, I can't do this."

After several minutes of attempting to calm her down, it was clear that there was nothing I can say that will make her stop crying. So for 5 minutes straight, I sat there and let her cried. I let her cry till she said,

"Fool cut it out, you must be crazy."

Man I knew there were reasons why I like Nicole, she took lyrics right out of one of my favorite songs.

I said, "Crazy about you." And finally, something I've been waiting to hear from her, a small laugh. Funny how we both knew which song each other was referring to.


So, for the afternoon, we talked like we never did before. She told me her worse fears: the realization that she might not be cut out for her MOS, the realization that she might not be cut out for OSUT, the realization that she might not be cut out for the Army, and so much more.

Funny how much we can convince ourselves that these sayings are true if we just repeat it over and over again. And within our minds, what we once thought were our calling becomes out regrets and fears. I guess that's why we all need someone to shake us free from the negative beliefs, the negative vibe and reassure us that our calling is what we truly know and love.

And that's why I did, I shook Nicole out of her zone. I told her that everything will be alright, that she IS cut out for this job and there WAS a reason she went down to the recruiter's office AND sign the enlistment papers.

She sounded skeptical but hopefully one day, she'll thank me. We ended the call with our usual kisses and with some skepticism still in her voice, she said "Thank you, babe."

You're welcome, sweetheart.

This zone is our Danger Zone, this zone that many of us have been in or are in right now. We all need someone to shove us out of this Danger Zone. None of us may handle the Danger Zone all by ourselves and I hope that no one out in the world will ever have to. Makes me wonder, who shoved you out of the zone? Who did you shove out of this zone? and well...who shoved me out of the Danger Zone? or will someone ever do so?

I hope so.

Last thing before I end this blog. Out of the request (or rather demand) of my parents, I can't tell you here (or on Twitter) what's going on in the family right now. But if you pray, please pray for us. If you don't please send some positive vibes out our way, we surely need it. Thank you.

5 comments:

HellcatBetty said...

Aww, you're a good man, Matty. I'm so glad you've found someone special :)

RP said...

hi! Matt
well congratulations indeed for finding someone special, I wish you both the best :)
And I will include you all (you and your family) in my prayers...Hope everything turns out to be fine!
take care
Ruchi

Knuckles said...

Thanks guys for the comment. Thank you also for the prayers, Ruchi, we truly appreciate it.

Megan said...

I've definitely been where Nicole is and where you've been in trying to either get out of that zone or help someone out of it. It's really great of you to be able to have that kind of connection. I'm happy for ya!

I'll be praying for your family, too. -ML

Knuckles said...

Thanks Megan :)

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