Saturday, April 17, 2010

I $*%^ You

Yesterday morning, I send out a stack of letters to Nicole yesterday. Funny how much you miss someone you care about when you can't talk or see 'em. The letters I wrote well, guess I can call 'em a typical "Hollywood Letters". I asked her about OSUT, I told her about the things going on in my life right now. I told her some of my grief but didn't storm her with what really on my mind. I guess I didn't want to burden her when she's busy with OSUT. I told her about Prom and how much I truly did't want to go because she's not here but I went anyways. And of course, I told her how much I miss her smile, her words, and mostly, her. I end the letters with "talk to you soon" or sometimes "miss you" or things of the sort.

It's almost 3 months since I asked Nicole out after the Pat Green concert we went to. And up till now, Nicole and I haven't say the word. Which word, the L word. At first thought, it makes me laugh because it reminds of me this Miller Light commercial:

I've gotten a lot of comments (usually from people around my age) saying I'm "weird" or "strange" because of the fact I haven't say the "L" word to my girlfriend. And what's even more strange is that Nicole haven't say the word to me either. Guess in a way we're "perfect" for each other because we're just that weird.

Truth is, I don't see the reason or need to rush and say the word. I've said before, "Love, like hate, is a strong emotion and I truly believe if used in the wrong context, you can hurt the person you are talking to. And worse, you may hurt yourself." With things that happened in my life, I don't see a reason in hurting myself more than things already did. This word can wait and Nicole and I are doing fine without it. We say what we mean and what's on our mind. We still laugh and smile when either of us say something funny. We're a good couple without the word and well...when the time comes, I think this word will makes us stronger than ever before.

So, for now, neither of us is saying the word.
And let's make sure it stays that way until either of us truly mean it.

Also check out my friend, Kert's blog. She wrote an entry on this topic also. Read Kert's entry and let her know what you think!


MommyTaco said...

I can relate to this one a lot. It took months before I ever came around to saying "I love you" to Taco (he hadn't said it yet btw), after spending so much time apart due to back-to-back TDYs. His response was, "I ... like you too." I know what he meant though, we have always had that understanding between each other. The first time he told me that he loved me was, again on the phone, after I just told him that we were pregnant. It was the best thing he could have said at that moment since he had been in Saudi Arabia for the last two weeks without any kind of contact since he'd left the states. I was so uncertain at that time, esp since he hadn't ever actually told me. But I *KNEW* he did, it just needed to come at the right time. And it did.

It sounds like you and Nicole have that same kind of understanding of each other that you don't require to hear it to KNOW how you feel about each other. You'll know when the right time comes, and yes, it will make you stronger than ever as a couple.

silver star said...

It was the same way with my husband and I, we didn't say "I love you" for several months, we were both scared the first several months we were together, one night he slipped up and said it, I was sick so I wasn't sure if he really said it. A few weeks later, we finally said it out loud to each other, and like Mommy Taco said, it will make you stronger than ever as a couple. When the time's right, you or Nicole will say it, and both of you will feel that way at the moment. Good luck!

Knuckles said...

Thanks guys.

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