Saturday, October 30, 2010

If You Know the Address to Heaven...

“…those who are dead are not dead. They just live in my head…”

I think ever since I heard that song by Coldplay, those two lines are forever embedded in my head. Because when I have the days when I miss Mom, miss my family and friends, I think of this line:

“They just live in my head…”

I swear that makes me sound like I’m psycho. Don’t it?

Some nights ago, as I was trying to retrieve one of my textbook from my book case, my copy of Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell fell to the ground and with it, a letter, addressing to me.

It was another one of Mom’s letters, hidden and waiting for me to discover it.


I know at times you hurt and I hurt with you. I know your heart aches when you can no longer hear my voice. I know your heart aches more when your friends are with their Moms. And how I wish I can be there for you, for your Dad, and for Sarah. But I now sit with God and watch over you, sweetheart. No matter where you are in the world, I am always with you.

Remember when you were five, when I had to go on business trips, you would always want to know if you could come along? Your curiosity always tends to wonder what I will be doing and whether or not there will be presents for you when I come back. On top of all that, you always wanted to write to me, said that your words will make me come back quicker.

What a bundle of joy, innocent, and curiosity you were, honey. Your never ending strive to do your best made you stand out from your classmates and friends. Your never ending friendship and love for those around you made you an instant friend to all. On top of that, your words are truly wise beyond your age, honey. I read all your blogs and was in tears of just how proud I am of your work and of you. (And I’m not just saying that because I’m your Mama!) I always looked forward to reading your words and your work. How I wish I can do that today. But don’t worry, even when I am not near, I am always reading your blogs and your writings. Just remember what I said, honey, that words and freedom of speech are one of the most important freedom that a person can have in this country. Many people died fighting for that freedom and one of the things you can do to honor them is to continue writing and practice your freedom of speech.

I am never far from you, Sarah, or your Dad. Remember, sweetheart, no matter where you go in the world, I will be right there with you. Keep writing, even when your heart is not in the right place, write, because I am always looking forward to reading your words.

Keep writing, sweetheart. I look forward reading your work.
A few letters won’t hurt either, honey. If it’s from you, I’ll love it
Your Mama

Though reading letters like this makes me sad and miss Mom like never before but at the same time it makes me proud to call her my Mama. The letter got me thinking about writing her letters. So that afternoon, I stopped by a coffee shop and wrote her some letters.

There was only one problem…

I had no clue where to address the letters or how.
What’s the address to Heaven?

Then I thought maybe I should start another blog and I can put the letters on that blog…
I don’t know…I can hardly keep track of the two blogs I currently have, how am I going to maintain one more?
I don’t know…we’ll see.

If you know the address to Heaven, please let me know.


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